Showing posts with label urban legend. Show all posts
Showing posts with label urban legend. Show all posts

Monday, February 9, 2015

That escalated quickly

Hey guys, sorry I haven't posted in a bit. I had to...lay low for a while. Let's just say that the day after I got the package was not good.

So first of all, I met this idiot not long after I left the house to go to school who tried to sing the praises of Slender Man to me. You know, this loser-

Real Scary

Anyway, as I think I've made clear before hand, I am not a fan of tall, pale and spooky. So I punched the guy out and moved on with my life.  But then, as I was going through downtown after school, I met another idiot. This one told me to embrace the Archangel.

...I won't go into detail, but suffice it to say that I have...issues with the Archangel. We've met. It did not end well. 

And so, I responded to this jackass in a proportionate, mature way and threw him off the roof of a ten story building.

...

This is why I don't tell you people where I live, and why I bounce this through ten servers and four different encryption programs. 

So I holed up in a safehouse until I was sure nobody had noticed my act of proportionate retribution and am happy to say that I have now moved on with my life.

Monday, February 2, 2015

Nope. Just...No

Hey everybody! I got a mystery package today! I'm going to open it, but I thought I'd let you know what's going on because, well, opening mystery packages never seems to end well, surprise surprise. So, if you don't hear from me for a while, this will be why. I doubt I'll die though, so don't worry too much. I'm pretty tough.

So, let's see what we've got here...
An old NES. Huh. Odd. Let's see what else is in here...
An NES controller. Makes sense. Oh wait, there's a game cartridge in here. Let's see what we've got...
...No.

No, no, no no no.

NO.

Talk to you later guys, I've got to go find a sledghammer.

Thursday, January 29, 2015

My Favorite Song

Hey everybody! Thought I'd share my favorite song with you all. I considered doing a top 10, but I'm not Todd in the Shadows, so none of you'd care about a full top 10 anyway. Plus, I'm just lazy. So instead I just decided to skip to the top 1.

Also...uh...fair warning-I was getting stalked earlier today by a really tall, really skinny, really pale bald guy in a nice suit. Now, I only noticed him out of the corner of my eye a few times, so I didn't get a really good look at him, and there were usually a few hours between each time I saw him, so for all I know I was just going in the same direction as a tall, albino, bald lawyer a few times. But I doubt I'm that lucky. So, just so you know, this video might end up being a little messed up.
...What?

Just...what?

Screw you asshole! Seriously, whoever did this, I'm going to...damn it!

Why would you do that? What, are you anti P!nk or something?

I'm sorry guys. Apparently Slender Man is an immature, obnoxious little brat. Stupid little...I remember when people barely knew who you were twerp! You do not fuck with P!nk! 

Friday, January 23, 2015

Local Family Loses Child to Someone Calling Themselves 'The Rake'

Dammit. I was supposed to be able to get at least one post in that had nothing to do with the supernatural first! Get out of my town you stupid little pup! Nobody likes you! Go play in the woods or something! Agggh!

Thursday, January 22, 2015

First post

Hello. I'm just going to get this off my chest right off the bat. I hate Slender Man. And the Rake. And all those other little upstarts...

That might not have been exactly politic. Allow me to clarify.

First of all, yes, I realize the reality of our situation. But then again, maybe you don't. So let me make this clear. Lots of things are real. Slender Man? Real. The Rake? Real. Candle Cove, Jeff the Killer, Smile Dog? All 100% real. We live in a very scary place people. Hell, half of you probably haven't even heard of the Archangel, or EAT, or the Wooden Girl, or half the other things that could kill you by being in the same room as you. Humanity isn't worthless, and it isn't defenseless, but it certainly isn't at the top of the food chain. Or the bottom of the totem pole for that matter.

What's that? Why would we want to be on the bottom of the totem pole you ask? Well, simply put, the bottom section of the totem pole was actually made by the master artisan, since it was the most important part structurally and what most people would be able to see the clearest and...I had a point when I started writing this, I know I did.

Oh yeah, scary world.

So, yeah, there are things that go bump in the night, and most of us don't like to talk about them when we notice them. I do though.

No, this won't be an urban legend blog. Hopefully this will be a fairly mundane blog about high school and life and my English projects. But if weird stuff does start happening, I'm not going to pretend that it isn't either.